JUST a volunteer?

As people start to hear about my plans for this fall, many automatically assume that I'm taking a role of leadership within the DOOR network. It's not their fault. It's the "box" that I've put myself in! For the past 7 years, my job has been in a position of leadership. I'm the Program Director at Camp and have a staff of almost 20 people during the summer. Previously, I was a Hall Director and had a staff of 3 and oversaw a residence hall of about 100 students. Before that I was a Resident Advisor and was responsible for a floor of about 40 girls. I like to be in charge of stuff. When you're a kid, they call you bossy. When you become an adult, they call you a "leader". :)

Many people are taken aback a bit when they realize that I'm going to be just a volunteer. Just another person in the house. I, however, am looking forward to it quite a bit. While it is rewarding to be the one to oversee and help build a community, it sometimes leaves me on the outside. There's a bit of a wall between staff and supervisor that is hard to overcome. It's possible, but not always likely. I'm very much looking forward to being a part of the group, but not ultimately responsible for it. I'm looking forward to being just a volunteer.

The end is near. . .

My days of being Program Director at Crooked Creek are numbered. I have my work days and remaining vacation days all mapped out. I can count the number of programs left on one hand. I have my final to-do list to do. Most of the things I do at work will be the last time I do them. At home, I make packing lists and piles of things to get rid of. I’ve started putting my stuff up for sale on the classifieds and think about what else I can give away. The end of my life as I currently know it is quickly wrapping up.

However.

A new start is near! In just over a month, I will be living in a new house, a new city, a new state and a new part of the U.S. Life will look nothing like it does now. But I am excited! I am looking forward to getting to know new people, a new way of life and a new way of doing things. I am excited about being a part of a community, rather than facilitating it. I can already tell that my new housemates and I are going to be friends. I can just tell. J

However.

I am nervous. It’s been a long time since I was 18 years old, getting ready to move to a new place with new people. I wish I would be over this by now, but the same worries keep going through my head.

· Will they like me?

· Will I fit in?

· Will I have enough “me time”?

· Will I be happy?

· What if I’m not good at my new job?

· What if I do something stupid?

· What if, what if, what if. . .

One advantage I have in my corner this time that I didn’t when I was 18 is the truth that I’ve done it before and can therefore do it again. I know that I can adapt into a new community. I know that I can make friends. I know that I can learn how to do a new job. I know that I can find happiness wherever I am and in whomever I’m with. I know, because I’ve done it before. I don’t have to rely on faith to know that God has prepared a way for me, I already know.